At
some point in life, you have been left by a beloved one for eternity.
It is such a painful thing and depending on your culture, I bet you
expressed your sad feelings. In Kenya, various communities have got a
cultural complex of behaviour in which the bereaved participate.
However, ethnocentrism makes everything look interesting because some
people deem others weird yet themselves they are weird too. A look at
how different Luos pay their last respect to the departed from
kikuyus will help us understand these differences.
In
Luo land, death is announced by women’s long quivering wail. This
attracts more mourners who join in with loud cries and lamentations.
Annunciation is followed by vigil which continues till burial day.
Over that time, various preparations are made. For instance a shade
under which mourners will sit during burial is elevated, a coffin
and cloth made,relatives and neighbours turn up in the compound to
mourn and make arrangements for burial.At night, separate groups of
men and women in which they sing lamentations through out the night
are formed.
For
Kikuyus, death announcement comes in like a rumor. You first hear it
from a neighbour and later it is confirmed in a church service. On
annunciation of death, calls are made to confirm and inform. From
that very evening, friends and well-wishers meet at the deceased’s
compound for vigil.
Due
to limited time, they have prayers, share a word of God, sing and
then raise contribution for burial bills. After that, mourners leave
for their homes after agreeing on a meeting the following day. This
continues until burial day.
On
attendance of a kikuyu funereal, the first thing that strikes you is
the lack of tears. On this event, mourners troupe into the boma in
total silence, If it were not for casket you would think it’s a
coffee farmers’ Sacco members going in for a quarterly meeting to
discuss the price of fertilizers. Amazingly, the kikuyus people stand
in handles looking sober but no tears. If a teardrop is to appear its
only on breaking out of the news, at the morgue or during the eulogy
which is very uncommon.Tears are an unexpected incidence because this
is a time one is expected to show the greatest level of strength and
maturity. The community believes in life after death hence one should
remain strong in the hope of meeting in future.
This
is unlike Luos where when the body is brought home, it brings about
complete chaos. People meet the convoy kilometers from the boma and
run alongside their horse, chanting and waving leaves. People wail,
women, children, dogs, chicken, birds, goats....everyone’s wails
rent the air. If it were not for convoy, you would mistake the whole
thing for a political rally.
On
Luo land, if you don’t cry, you would be accused of killing the
deceased. I attended a kikuyu family burial and this is what a
villager said about the lack of tears.
On
luo land, there are many people who come to funeral just to chill
out. They are there just for the company. They also look forward
towards the funeral because it’s the only time they are going to
drink sodas and have unlimited yummy yummy foodstuff. With Kikuyus,
there is none of such characters in funeral. No idlers. Only the
affected turn up. The rest of the villagers go about their business
of feeding their cows and taking care of shambas as usual. To
kikuyus, death is a brief and solitary affair.
On
the d.day, Kikuyus don’t open the casket. The body is only viewed
at the morgue and once they shut the coffin, that’s the end. They
will only view the body in shagz by special requests from those who
didn’t view at the morgue. This is unlike the Luo people who have
to confirm I you are being buried in decent attire.
The
Kikuyus program is brief and no time is wasted on speeches. At most,
we have one from a relative, priest and area chief. However, it’s
ironic that Kikuyus will run their funeral like clockwork but still
manage to curve out half of the burial time taking photos of
themselves beside the coffin. Everyone will take photo under a
certain category. In fact, the only people who are left out are the
deceased’s debtors. The burial is summarized by escorting the
deceased into a deeply dug whole and buried without much ado.
Thereafter, the guests are served with some sumptuous kikuyu food of
which to Luos they would be taken or a snack. I mean some steamed
rice, mukimo, some stew; basically, minji, meat, potatoes and carrots
all floating in a sea of broth.
The
saddest part of a kikuyu funeral is not the fact that they neither
cry nor serve sodas or even take advantage of the dead to amuse
themselves with pictures, it is how it ends. By the end of the
day,the tents are pulled down, the public address packed up and
everyone leaves to wherever they had come from. If you go back to the
boma the following day,there would be no indication of there being
some funeral the previous day.
Contrary
to kikuyus, brevity is a no thing to Luos. As
part of burial program, everybody wants their fifteen minutes with
the microphone. Sometimes, not being allowed to eulogize is seen as a
gross disrespect and something that can cause a rift in relationships
for generations to come. Therefore, anyone wishing to say a word is
granted a chance. As usual, we do not hurry at anything. Speeches are
followed by a harambee asking for donations to cover expenses for
lamp oil, food and items which were consumed for occasion. Political
speeches are made, the body buried after which mourners are served
with a heavy meal. However, this does not mark the end of mourning.
After burial, a large number of people hungs around funeral grounds
for several days, eating and drinking about.
Its
tempting to call others weird when we look at them from our own
socialization. We are all weird. We are Different. You don’t even
have to understand why people do what they do. You even don’t have
to appreciate it or explain it. The best you can is respect the
difference.
